Grammars Don’t Makes You Into Geekazoid

    Oh dear almighty Father in heaven, may grammar like this title never appear again over the entire course of humanity. Not only does this phrase slander every known truth in the universe, including the commandment of not committing murder, it also is so offensive it would put The Ugly Stepsisters to shame. Please God, just eradicate these types of sentences from existence… In Jesus’ name, Amen.

    These are just one of the many prayers I must make every time I open my Internet Browser, because there are sentences like this plaguing the cybernetic world every single day. The internet has now become a place where we may publish these forsaken sentences onto the bowels of the internet history, and unfortunately, there will continually be the opportunity for many more to come. Comments on Youtube videos, facebook statuses, even blogs I admit… they become the grammatical battlefield, where in most cases, the commas and correct spellings are left in mangled heaps. The situation can become so dire that even capitalization becomes an exploit for over exaggerated emotion, where even those who are not writers (who are even afraid to use explanation points for emotion), cringe at the very sight of the comment.

    It is a sad day indeed for those of grammar.

    I cannot say I am the grammar queen though. I assure you, by this point, those who know every rule of grammar and spelling have probably found countless errors in this post in the sentences prior to this one. I admit, I have never taken a grammar class, and in high school, the most grammar educators ever taught me were through the red marks that made my papers appear more like small pox victims then actual reports. I probably could have taken the initiative, read the little ‘how to write papers in some condescending, complicated way in which no rational person could understand’ books, but in high school, initiative is not exactly smiled upon by anyone except the teachers.

    The issue of initiative is where grammar comes into the equation. Where a person simply wishes to make sentences right, the initiative to do so can grant this person the stereotype of ‘overachiever’. The fact that there is even a title for someone who takes more initiative is a tell-tale sign that there’s something wrong. Human beings don’t add stereotypes to something that is known fact. For one, I’m glad we do not label ourselves ‘the human beings with at least most of our bodies intact’. We just know we are at least somewhat intact, we don’t make a stereotype for them.

    Unfortunately, over-achiever is a stereotype. When a student does their absolute best work, steps above the rest of the class, instead of getting a pat on the back from their friends, they get a seemingly joking ‘over-achiever’, and the grade is the only comfort to take in. The normal American student, being one who is growing in a culture where one has to make the best possible result from the least amount of effort, do not want to see themselves as a step down, hence the need for the stereotype.

    Exceptional grammar, unfortunately, has become a litmus test for the ‘over-achievers’. Since grammar isn’t something typical students take much initiative in, anyone who excels in it is immediately cast into the stereotype. Even when bad facebook statuses run awry, any effort to fix this is scorned. The people who correct the statuses are even placed into memes and a hate festival commences.

    Oh, I am sorry that I am trying to help you not look completely uneducated to the entire world, including possible employers. My bad.

    If I come across the wrong way saying this, allow me to explain: I do not mean to say everyone must become a grammar Nazi. If everyone were the perfect editors, than editors would be out of a job and everyone could write a bestseller. My point is though, learning a bit of grammar and making sure to at least make it readable is a skill that will HELP you. That way, even if the linguistics majors could still rip your sentence to shreds, the rest of the population will relate and not think of you as some monkey on a keyboard.

    Grammar helps. It helps me every day at school. Papers take less time to write. I don’t feel like an idiot. Everyone WINS.

    And for good measure, here’s ‘Your Grammar Sucks’, just to prove to you that grotesque grammar still skulks among the internet pages: If someone can make over 50 videos of grammatical mistakes in comments, I think I’ve got myself a point.

See you Friday!


6 thoughts on “Grammars Don’t Makes You Into Geekazoid

  1. I enjoy your toungue-in-cheek approach to language purism! Correct grammar helps us to communicate universally. Sometimes people/writers play with (break) the rules…other times speech groups and social cliques use pigeon forms as a mode of exclusion. Overt use of ‘bad grammar’ can also be proof of laziness (academically). It’s a shame that teaching grammar seems so onerous for the young. Perhaps there’s a place for both slang and proper grammar. A mix of both can add to the wealth of expression available in a given language! That’s the only way I know of to avoid the ‘hate festival.’

    • Thank you very much! And I very much agree, I do wish the education system would teach it more, so to avoid the ‘over-achiever’ title to be given to whoever tries. Although, I must admit, this makes me think some bad grammar is unintentional, seeing as it isn’t even taught much. I think some people just try to directly connect their spoken word to their written word and that doesn’t always transition well.

  2. Pingback: Grammars Don’t Makes You Into Geekazoid « Vampyre Fangs

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