I stand on the line, connected to both sides, but belonging to neither. There is no place I can call home and no place where the dust can settle around my feet. For my entire life, as welcome as I would be to either party, I can settle for neither, because I cannot see myself in either place, I cannot find comfort in only fitting in a single category, knowing the other side carries a part of me, and I carry a piece of it. I feel like, somehow, God, when he made me, messed up somewhere, dented me in the head, yet turned his head away. Did he forget about me? Why won’t he answer any of my questions?
You know, trying to fit into this world sucks. There’s red tape flying around everywhere, politicians in suits who might as well be renting UFO’s and sucking out our brains, knowing how foolish they can sound. For celebrities to be popular, they’re required to be hot, must have affairs, and must be religiously viewed as gods and goddesses, covered with enough sparkle and pizzazz to cover the entire world in confetti. The cool kids have to have to good looks, best clothes, have to be extroverts who can sway the masses, and can get away with stuff like bullying and such. Before you even reach what adults call the ‘real world’, the standard for normality is so thin that only a select few can seem to fit the profile. It’s sad, most people are scarred by the horrors of not fitting in before being yourself is actually acceptable. I know, it sucks. But I guess it’s what you do with it.
Of course, it got me too. But that’s a different blog post entirely. It sucked, but you know, it’s what made who I am. Someone who really wants to change this world, one book at a time. Call me ambitious, but I want my reason for writing more than just fame and money. Books teach from between the lines, beyond the story, beyond the details, beyond everything between the covers. Inside a story, inside action and a whole other world, there is a lesson that can help someone live through another day. That’s why I write. That’s why, even if this world isn’t nice, it can teach.
Still hate bullies, still hate the caste system, still hate slavery and unfairness and injustice that is found so easily sometimes. I don’t think I know everything, no, but there are some things that can help a person live through another day, actually smile, actually breathe for a second. The world sucks sometimes. I just want to make it a little better.
I dare you, smile right now. You aren’t flawed, and it’ll be okay. J
See you Wednesday!