Get rid of ‘Should-Have’s’, and pick up not not habits.

    One of the most annoying devices that are inevitably, painfully installed into every human’s heads is the little guilt monger. He says things like ‘oh, you should be doing the chores little missy’, and ‘oh, you just totally embarrassed yourself in front of that person’, and he comments on every other little thing that makes us want to hide in a corner or bury themselves. Probably, right now, your inner Grammar Nazi is telling you that my title is a misspelling, and though Microsoft Word would agree with you, shut that little bugger away and listen to me.

    First of all, human beings are flawed to some extent. You’re going to make mistakes. You’ll feel guilty for them. I can’t get rid of that part of you, nor will this advice make it entirely go away. Although we hate to admit it, sometimes we fall into moments of desire, and end up with our head in our arms, bags under our eyes, with a brain that feels like a stone was painfully inserted through your skull and the doctor sucked at stitching it up. It happens. In all honesty, writing has been really hard this week. As much as I love to do it, it feels like I’m dragging a ball and chain to my desk, and that none of my ideas will work because I was so distracted that my brain isn’t functioning properly, and I feel like a failure, and the cycle repeats.

    Trying to achieve something without a schedule will only lead to any habit dying out. It’s hard to become tied to anything that doesn’t have a set time or place. We tend to put it off, bury it into the back of our minds, until the opportunity is gone. Procrastination is certainly a habit of mine. It happens everyday. I’ll write TOMORROW. I loved a shirt that said ‘Procrastinators unite!…. Tomorrow’ for the truth it has. Habits can be blessings and demons in disguise.

    Though, that’s just a habit, am I right? What about a not not habit?

    A not not habit is similar to a habit, but it’s more of a promise to yourself. Instead of trying to beat yourself into submission, and tying yourself down to a chair to get something done, it’s a sort of compromise to yourself. What I mean is, instead of telling myself ‘I should be writing’, I promise myself to not not write. It’s a double negative for a reason. I promise to not not write before I go to sleep. Although I go to bed at different times, as long as I write before bed, I’ve kept this promise to myself, even though my muse certainly is not with me every night. But if I can make this promise a habit, it’s not me just beating myself into something, and it’s not an activity I’ll grow hating because I must do it. It will be something I can smile back on because I fulfilled a promise. Habits should not be little things charged by the little man squirting guilt into your veins. Not not Habits, I think, are kind of refreshing for that very reason, because instead of thinking I’m some failure when I haven’t done something, it rewards me when I keep it up.

    Habits should be agreements with one’s self, a contract to be signed, sure, but one that won’t cause more guilt. There was a reason why a person I loved very well did not choose music as her career for the simple fact she did not want to hate music in her life by forcing it to become what made her money for her. Some things out there are good for us, as much as we may hate them. However, if we continue to believe it’s some chore and put it off until it’s too late. One can start hating things that are a necessary part of your life.

    I dislike hating things I need. It gives the guilt monger even more reason to start talking. Don’t let him talk too much. Not for things you need to do. There’s already too much stress in this day and age anyway. Think of your habits as agreements, as a reward when accomplished, more than something you ‘should be doing’.

    Put the ‘should have’s’ away already. I will not not take care of myself anymore. You should too.

    See you next week!


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