The Un-eventful Epic

(got the inspiration for the story from a friend of mine, who always makes these kinds of posts. Though he does them much better than I do)

“This will be our final battle, Akane,” I said, a smile creeping up my face.

“Indeed, Kila,” my opponent’s eyes glittering with fierce delight.

Unsheathing my katana from its ruby case, I pointed the glimmering blade at Akane, posing myself to look like one of those cool people in movies. Without even performing my first move, I knew this battle of be over soon with my win. I was the King’s knight, garbed in the glorious scarlet robes of the royal court. On my arms and legs were plates of armor forged in the mines of the greatest blacksmiths in the country, made of the cleanest and toughest metal found in this country. My precious head was protected by closely weaved chain mail, and of course, no one would ever aim for my beautiful face. With its well sculpted chin, thick, luscious unibrow, and my rosy cheeks, no damsel in this country could turn away from my face. It caused many a jaw to drop, even the king had taken many minutes to observe its glory.

This fool in front of me, Akane, seems to scoff at the word beauty. He has golden hairs, a large body, too large for taste, and alien green eyes, making him a grotesque mix of features. I refuse to believe that Sylvia would choose a man such as him. This is why it is my loyal duty to take her back to the tower in which she belongs. So that I may properly save her and then marry her and create beautiful children together. I smiled at the thought.

Although, Akane could have chosen a better place for a showdown. We were standing at the top of mount Kujimar, an active volcano that was due to blow any decade now. As I witness gobs of fiery lava being spewed all over the place, I worry that they may burn through my robes if they came into contact. The black, course lava rocks underneath me were unsteady, veins of orange appearing from between the cracks. This battlefield would not last long. In addition to that, ash obscured my sight, turning the sky to a pale gray. It became hard to see my opponent.

I lunged, knowing I have very little sword experience, so I figured swinging around my sword randomly would do the trick. I had seen enough movies to know that the protagonists never needed to practice real fighting skills for very long, that their inner power would help and defeat their enemy. So as my opponent continually stopped blows with only a flick of his wrist, I waited for some inner fire to take over. The volcano certainly seemed to have plenty of that.

Then, to my own dismay, Akane knocked my sword from my grasp, the metal clanging of the rocks beside me. I fell to my bottom, quite ungracefully, and stared up at my ugly foe. He held his sword by my neck, the cool metal was startling on my skin. I was shocked. Had I, the protagonist, just lost?

I refused such a loss! I stood up and looked Akane in the face. I was ready to punch the man, or kick him where it hurts; however, suddenly I felt the burn of lava on my face. I screamed and jumped back, cursing Akane.

“I will get you for this!” I yelled, running with all my might.

And that was the end to our battle. And the end to my face.

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